Cosmic Irony

I’m sure you’ve all heard, “If Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.” And maybe even, “Chuck Norris doesn’t lift weights, when he touches them, they try to fly away and he pulls them back down.” But I have an even better reason why Chuck Norris is great. He brings people together.

Almost no subject on earth could make a grown man walk up to a group of young twenty-somethings with something to say like the topic of Chuck Norris’s greatness. Most older males wouldn’t be able to decipher what those young people were saying. But not when it comes to Chuck Norris.

Picture myself with my roommate and his friends in a corner of Taco Bell philosophically discussing the origins of Chuck Norris. He wasn’t just born like everyone else, after all. That much is obvious, so we decided to test our theories of how Chuck Norris came to be.

My roommate came up with a perfect explanation. “300″ was the most manly movie he’s ever seen. But when he saw the end for the third or fourth time, he realized there was a flaw. King Leonidas was not hit in the brain, or the face! (Brain being a bit south of the face, as with most men, he argued). Therefore, King Leonidas cannot be dead.

“King Leonidas was sleeping! Anyone would be tired after a battle like that! He was just taking a nap! But when he woke up, he changed his name to Chuck Norris because no one believed he was really Leonidas!” he said.

“Of course!” I agreed, “If you spell Chuck Norris backwards you get Leonidas!”

To this my roommate’s girlfriend wasn’t convinced, but we had to tell her to just trust her on this one.

Then, the nationwide impact of Chuck Norris was made apparent to us as a middle-aged man came up to our table, looked Nathan straight in the eye and said, “There’s one flaw in your argument young man,” he paused as we all held our breaths, “Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep, he waits!”

We were amazed and humbled by this man’s wisdom! We shared a good laugh and as the man left the Taco Bell we all agreed: Chuck Norris can bring anyone together.

The End