Cosmic Irony

They say it takes a village to raise a child (whoever “they” are), but there is such an expectation of privacy in America that this community spirit is nearly foreign. And so it should be, I say. If a person asks the village for help-well, that is one thing. However, a tired mother, a few days back to work off maternity leave, a toddler at her side and a weary husband following close behind does not need parenting advice from the cashiers at her local Safeway. Yes, that’s right folks. Two people whose job description doesn’t even require a high school diploma do not need to be giving out advice about the best way to deal with a crying two-month-old.
Take, for example, the Safeway in Cameron Park, California. You’ve probably never heard of it. But beware! Step into this store and you may just get more than you’ve bargained for!
It all started a few days ago when a dear friend of mine and her family traveled down Cameron Park Drive to pick up the groceries for the week. As I mentioned before, she had just started back at her job: a grueling, tiring retail position at a local sweatshop (aka Wal-Mart). Her seventeen-month-old toe-head was enjoying a ride in the car-shaped cart that dad was pushing while his younger brother snored away in his car seat on top of the cart. The groceries were gathered with the best economics in mind and the family trudged it’s way into the busy check-out line.
Suddenly, disaster struck. The young newborn woke up from his nap and (god-forbid) started crying! My goodness sakes! The nervous, tired parents rushed to put their groceries up on the black conveyer belt that carried their gatherings to the cashier for pricing. Eager to get out of the store to properly handle their dear, precious newborn, the parents did not pick up the crying child and instead got into the position to pay.
Suddenly, looking up into the face of the cashier, Carleen, my friend was faced with the greatest fear of every new parent: unwarrented advice. Carleen and Anne, another cashier, were looking at my friend in disgust while the father was busy with their seventeen-month-old and she was hurredly fumbling with the check-book.
“Aren’t you going to hold your baby?” said Anne, in that if-you-don’t-you’ll-hear-it-from-me tone of voice that all parents have come to dread. My friend quickly explained that she was trying to get out of the store, as her newborn had colic and she would appreciate it if the cashier would just ring her up. At that point, the two cashiers proceeded to tell her how wrong it was that she would not hold her crying baby. As the bagger was finishing up the last of the groceries and Carleen began to ring up the next customer, Anne stormed off, claiming to not be able to handle the injustice of the situation. Carleen then proceeded to tell the next customer in an obviously loud voice that parents who do not hold their children are just bad people. My friend rushed out of the store embarrassed and frustrated at the experience.
Of course, her baby was fine. As soon as she found the proper place (not a line in the supermarket) to care for her child, she calmed the boy and made him ready for the trip home. The manager of these two hags was informed immediately of the demeaning experience.
If you don’t have children, or you are on your first child and are unreasonably over-protective (as most new parents are) of your precious, you may feel an angry flare rise up in your belly at this situation. However, for the sake of your own children, continue reading.
First of all, these hatchet women had no right to treat their customer in such a manner. My friend never asked for their opinions. Miss know-it-all and her cohort should have kept their ugly mouths shut and rang my friend up in a timely fashion so the family could be on their way. Americans hate being told what to do with their own private lives.
Also, any doctor will tell you the benefits of crying. Babies wouldn’t cry if it was a mechanism that did them harm. The strength of a baby’s lungs is enhanced by a good cry. Not that they need to cry all the time, but any good parent will tell you that every so often, a good cry will help the baby grow.
Not only that, but when a child is held every time it cries, it cries everytime it wants to be held. This behavior doesn’t end when the child begans walking and talking and doing things that babies grow to do. This creates that infamous spoiled brat that we have all seen in the supermarket. You know the one: screaming and throwing a fit over the right to eat Marshmallow Goodies cereal every morning with a glass of chocolate milk. My friend had every right to handle her child in any way she saw fit and not be lectured by the crones at her local Safeway. With that, my tale ends. Next time you are at the supermarket and hear the sound of a baby crying, smile, because one more set of parents is doing the right thing for their child: raising the child their own way.